I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
