Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
