dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
