but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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