so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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