So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
