Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
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