Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
