my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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