Duck Duck Cougar?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
