Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
