The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize