Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
