And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
