yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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