These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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