I wish they made helmets for livers.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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