is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize