K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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