Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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