Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
this boner is exhausting
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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