It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
