So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize