the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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