love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
