I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
