and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Randomize
