my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
