After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
