party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
