the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
vagina is talking i cant
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
