hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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