and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
