o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize