We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize