That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
