shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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