Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You brought string cheese to the strip club
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
