At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
