i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
