North Korea, Best Korea!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
