we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I supernannyed him into submission
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
