take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize