you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
