I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
