worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
