just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
