She is in my trunk
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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