so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
