let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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