don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Randomize
