Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
