garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
