Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
