i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize