once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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