...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
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