I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
