Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
