Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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