wrigley field is MILF paradise
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
