just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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